It has been brought to my attention that something called a Spirit Hood exists. From information gathered from the website, SpiritHoods are
hideous and utterly useless "animal hats(that) represent the bond we all share with each other and our primal natures". Basically these Spirit hoods are synthetic animal heads that sometimes have scarf paws attached. I'm sorry but these are just stupid. Seriously, who the hell came up with such a useless and utterly pointless idea. Not only do they make the wearer look like an asshat, but they are really expensive. Who in their right mind would spend upwards of $140 on fake fur. Oh wait, assholes who want to look like a sexy insertrandomanimal here. They have nothing of value to offer to society, other than to make the wearer of said SpiritHood look even more douchey. Last time I checked, I am pretty sure that the creators made this not so they could bring awareness of some kind of native american religion to the world, but so they could afford their million dollar malibu mansion and fund their alcohol and recreational drug infused daily pool parites. What a load of bullshit. Just because you are putting a fake fur animal hat on your head doesn't make you one with the spiritual animal world. Also, the people who created them live in California. Have they stepped outside recently? Do they know that it is like 30℃ in California during the summer? Do they realize that wearing faux fur, really creepy animal heads as hats is a dumb idea in warm weather? I somehow think logic escapes them, and most wearers of SpiritHoods. Wearing SpiritHoods makes you an asshat...literally. In my humble opinion, these spirit hoods are only appropriate if you are a child, under the age of 12, or if it's Halloween(or perhaps if you live somewhere where it gets to be -50℃ in the winter and you have misplaced your tuque but that is only in extreme and special circumstances). I will openly ridicule anyone I see on the street walking around with a fucking owl on their head, or a sexy red fox or any other kind of animal. Who wakes up in the morning and says "gee I think I want to wear a Panda on my head today, that's an awesome idea!"?! Idiots, that's who. Uninformed, idiots who have no idea the actual meaning behind what it actually means to be in touch with some kind of animal-spiritual world. The website espouses rhetoric about becoming part of the tribe. What tribe is this? A tribe of asshole hippies who are well into adulthood, who are living the glory days of their youth? Also, this whole "Join the Tribe" slogan reminds me of a crazy religious sect that encourages its followers to "drink the kool-aid". Um, No thanks. I think I'll stick to real life. If you feel that wearing fake animal heads will give you a sense of spirituality and a sense of belonging, then by all means, wear spirit hoods and remain ignorant and uniformed, and probably alone. Perhaps you should seek some kind of meaningful spirituality, rather than buying into the materialization and commercialization of an ancient belief system. I by no means pretend to be an expert on Native North American religious beliefs or any religion that deals with the spiritual power of animals, but I do know that the wearing of animals and animal skins in some religions has a deeper meaning than what the creators of SpiritHoods are getting at. SpiritHoods are absolutely ridiculous. I can't stand them. I would actually consider becoming an arsonist and set fire to the factory where they are made. The only possible redeeming quality that SpiritHoods have, is that if you purchase one with the Problue symbol, they will donate 10% of the sale to a foundation that deals with the particular animal head you purchased. Wow, so generous. 10%. When I see them, I am filled with a rage so firey that I actually get worked up. It's a problem. You can ask anyone in my office how I really feel about them. They're just so incredibly stupid! So please, instead of buying into some ridiculous fad, why don't you instead give your money to a worthy cause, like the World Wildlife Fund. Don't be an asshat.
If you're wondering whether or not you fall into the category of 'Asshat', I have created a handy flow chart for you to reference. Please see below.
Are You an Asshat?